Kate's Column: Dating Do's and Don'ts
Dating Do’s and Don’ts
Dating is awkward and vulnerable enough as it is, but when you add a public profile to it, it can be ten times worse. From having multiple people ask me how much money I make as an influencer, to being on a date with someone who thinks they know everything about me because they follow me on social media, the list of cringe-worthy situations goes on...
So, to make light of these crazy dates I’ve been on, I wanted to compile a list of the do’s and don’ts when it comes to dating. These tips can count for first dates, second dates, any type of date at all. Just always remember — being rude is never cool. Here it goes:
DON’T — ask someone how much money they make. I might be a little more old school when it comes to dating, but this should be a given. The “money” topic is a conversation that should only come up after months of knowing each other, and you should never pressure someone into telling you how much they make, even if they are comfortable around you.
DON’T — assume you know everything about someone because you follow them on social media. This may pertain more to those who are super active on social media, or are influencers, but it’s important to get to know someone authentically in person, and not as the person they are online. Yes, I think it’s incredibly important to be honest and authentic on social media, but that shouldn’t be the only channel you get to know someone through. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: there’s so much more to people’s lives than what they post online.
DON’T — brag about yourself. The whole point of going on a date is to get to know another person. Don’t take up that time bragging about who you know and what you do, you should be asking the other person questions and getting to understand them on a deeper level to know if you’re compatible or not. Which brings me to the next piece of advice….
DO — listen! It’s important to make someone feel like they’re being heard. Plus, it’s sexy. We live in such a fast-paced society that it’s rare for us to actually take the time to hear what others have to say. We’re always so busy trying to think of a clever response, or trying impress someone, that we lose focus on what’s really being said. Listening is a vital skill to develop, and it’s not easy. Just be aware of this and try to take the time to really hear others’ words.
DO — ask questions. Dating is all about getting to know someone on a personal level. How will you get to know someone if you don’t ask them questions? And be authentic about the questions you ask — what do you really want to know? Keep in mind, you don’t have to ask insanely deep-level questions on your first few dates with someone, but asking about someone’s favorite food or favorite place to travel to can give you a quick look into who they are as a person.
DO — be respectful. If you can sense any discomfort coming from your date, it’s a good idea to take a step back and ask what’s wrong. If someone isn’t feeling it, that’s fine. Better to be honest and ask why, then move on. That’s what dating is all about! But always be respectful of other people’s choices, and never be pushy or cause a scene.
Those are just a few of my do’s and don’ts when it comes to dating, and I hope you can agree with me on those tips. Remember, dating isn’t easy, but it’s important to be honest and kind to everyone you meet.